


when no-one will

by theclaravoyant



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 4x03, 4x03 coda, AOS S4, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-22 04:57:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8273767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theclaravoyant/pseuds/theclaravoyant
Summary: 4x03 coda. Elena contemplates the loss of her friendship with Maria and how to move forward from it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to @marvelthismarvelthat from tumblr for correcting my terrible Spanish
> 
> what Elena says at the end is:
> 
> God give me strength, remind me that I am not alone.

Elena left Mack, seething and hurt. So she had lied to him – but she’d only done it to protect his friend! Shouldn’t he be happy for her? Or for Daisy? Or for himself? She was able to help when nobody else could. She should have been praised for that, or at least not cast out.

She ground her teeth together, and kicked the base of the bed they’d so _graciously_ found for her for the night. Registration left a sour taste in her mouth. Sure, they had their reasons, but how had they not seen it was going to end this way? Where there was power there was corruption, always. Where there was difference, there was conflict. Where those two combined, there was danger. A child could have figured it out.

 _Somebody out there knows where I am._ It hadn’t really struck her until this point. _Not just what city – what building. They know where I go, where I work where I live where I shop. Who I love._  

Elena blew air out of her nose as the image of Maria flashed into her mind. She had never been a particularly forgiving person, and Maria’s insistence today that she was…a _freak of nature,_ something to feared, even killed…they could not come back from that. But the love that had been between them still burned, and Elena’s heart ached.

She sat on the bed with a sigh. Then she lay down, and tried to breathe through the knot in her chest.

She’d known Maria since they were girls. Since they’d run around chasing each other and jumping in the mud, and played football, and learnt to do their hair and dance and do arts and crafts. Their favourite had been to make lanterns. Elena was pretty sure, somewhere at her old house, there was still a lantern lying around with Maria’s name across it in glitter-glue. As they got older they’d shared similar taste in alcohol, karaoke songs, guys… and Maria had used to tease Elena about how she would show up to her wedding in combat boots and an army jacket. Elena had played along, stubbornly refusing to praise the dresses Maria had picked out.

Elena curled up on the bed, crying. For all her personal preferences, she really did think those dresses were beautiful. She would have been proud to wear the one tailored for her. She’d already bought matching shoes and waxing strips, even, to show the dress off with the artistry and finesse it – and the woman it celebrated – deserved.

 _Had_ deserved.

Elena growled at herself. This was ridiculous. And demeaning. And cruel. Crying like a lovelorn teenager over- over- _Maria._ The thought of her name commanded a flare of venomous rage, which hurt in itself, and Elena felt the tears burning her face. They were friends. How had Maria just thrown her away like that? Over this? Over anything?

Once, Maria had promised that she’d help Elena hide a body. When she’d been stealing and destroying guns in secret, what might have been a joke had almost come to fruition. Maria had been prepared to lie to the authorities, provide a getaway car, even dig the hole herself. That was the strength of the bond they’d had.

Yet Inhumanity…a little twist of biology…had been enough to break it.

Would Maria keep her secret now?

For the first time in years, Elena doubted it.

The doubt made it hard to breathe. What else did she stand to lose now? Would her other friends turn their backs on her? Would her family – parents, cousins, uncles and aunts? She certainly didn’t see her church group taking it well if they ever found out, but with the others, she had hope that there wouldn’t be a major problem. But of course, she would have assumed the same of Maria, and look where that had got her.

Elena growled again, not at herself, but at Maria. At the trust she had betrayed. At the ingratitude – the injustice – the disappointment of it all. She yelled and cursed for a while, adding the occasional squeeze or pummel of the pillow for extra cathartic effect, but it was a flash in the pan, in the grand scheme. She still loved Maria, despite it all, and she could not and would not do anything about what had been lost between them. Apart from the pain, it was over now, and there was nothing left to fuel her rage worth hanging onto.

When she was done cussing out Maria and fate and all things, Elena rolled onto her back. She stared up at the low, dull ceiling with tears still in her eyes. For a while she just sniffed and blinked, feeling the rage evaporate into a strangely serene if low-hanging fog.

 _“Dios,”_ she murmured,  _“dame fuerza. Recuerdarme que no estoy sola. Dame…”_  

She trailed off. He could hear her. He could feel what she felt. She felt her heart lift a little at the thought. All gifts had costs, and all those who did good with them would pay those costs, but the pain would pass. So long as she continued to good, and did not let her heart be turned, all would be well.

Elena closed her eyes, and sighed as the knot in her chest finally began to untie.

 _“Gracias,”_ she murmured, just in case.


End file.
